Monday, February 3, 2014

My Changing Body

Cheesy title, right? That's what I labeled a secret Pinterest board to store ideas about what-the-hell to wear during pregnancy. 

I'm not going to lie - I have had a really hard time with the changes happening to my body during pregnancy. And I want to put this out there, because I feel like people don't really talk about it! Whenever I envisioned myself pregnant, I always thought I'd look like myself, just with a cute belly. NOPE. 

I have always had a "pear" shaped body. In high school, I had a guy tell me my legs were "voluptuous". IN HIGH SCHOOL. When everyone is always the skinniest. (And no, he definitely wasn't hitting on me - he was openly gay). And it's true, I have always disliked my legs. But luckily to offset my "voluptuous" legs, I always had a flat stomach. Score! Well.. until pregnancy that is. It seems as though from day one, my legs started getting bigger and bigger and bigger. It's like my body was thinking "OMG, we have to sustain this baby! Let's store a TON of fat in her legs, and he will be content for 9 months!". It didn't help that during my first trimester, I was terribly sick and the only thing that made me feel better was eating lots of carbs all day long. They say you shouldn't really gain weight during your first trimester.. ha! What a joke. 

I grew out of my pre-pregnancy pants pretty much right away. First I went to my "fat" jeans, then around 12 weeks I was in full fledged maternity jeans. UGH. And all the while, my flat stomach was no more, too. I know all this sounds like a pity party.. but it's a hard thing to go through when in a matter of weeks nothing in your closet fits and your self-confidence plummets. You know what they say.. when you look good, you feel good, and I was not looking or feeling good at all. There were a couple nights where I burst into tears out of frustration in my closet trying to figure out what to wear. 

I got to a point where the frustration had to stop - I had to buy new clothes. So that's what I did. 

I mentioned my secret Pinterest board above.. during those couple of weeks where I was desperate to find a solution to my changing body and clothing situation, I searched Pinterest for some ideas (which is also pretty depressing.. all the pregnant girls on Pinterest look AMAZING and are a size 2. UGH again). 

Here are some outfits that I saved: 
source unknown
via
source unknown.. but this is obviously Jessica Alba ;)
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via
After gathering some inspiration, I went on a mission to find some pieces that I felt good in. And 90% of what I found was NOT from maternity stores (maternity clothing is THE WORST. I think that added to my frustration). Luckily all this happened during the Holidays, so I had a bit of Christmas money to spend on some new clothes and there were some great sales!

If I put on an outfit that didn't make me want to cry, I took a picture so I would remember it. Here are some of my "go to" maternity outfits (sorry for the bad picture quality): 

All I have to say is... THANK GOD I'm pregnant during the winter. Being able to layer has been such a blessing. I've had a lot of people tell me "you don't even look pregnant!" and it's because I choose not to wear things that accentuate my stomach. Honestly - I feel the most comfortable in big, flowy clothing. I've found that maternity clothing that accentuates my stomach also accentuates my very large behind.. and that's not something I want out there in the world to see. 

Some of you may be looking at the pictures above and thinking "she doesn't even look big!" But luckily I have found clothes that help minimize my "pregnancy induced thick leg and butt" syndrome. (Plus I think that angle in the mirror is flattering.) The same day I wore that last outfit, the Charlotte Observer came and took our picture and did a really cool little write up about us. Here is the picture they used: 


I'm not going to lie - I cringed when I saw how wide I look, especially next to my husband who now officially weighs less then me. Talk about an unflattering angle! (I'm blaming the wide angle lens.. haha!) 

I wanted to (and I am going to) share my favorite maternity clothing "must haves", but this post has gotten much too long for that. 

Sooo.. I want to end on this note... I know it sounds like I'm super vain and whiny in this post. And maybe I am a little on both accounts. And honestly - I am SO HAPPY and BLESSED to be pregnant. We didn't have an easy road to getting pregnant and thought we were headed towards infertility drugs. But then we got that positive on the test and it was the best thing ever. And every time I feel our little guy moving around in there, it makes me so incredibly happy and excited. Pregnancy really is such an amazing, awesome, crazy cool thing. BUT I really believe that every woman wants to feel good about themselves, and I wish I had known how hard the "vain" side of pregnancy is.. when your body no longer feels like your own and you so badly want to feel good about yourself again. And that's why I wanted to share my experiences with you! 

57 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing this! I have a 3 month old and experienced the exact same thing during my pregnancy. I was sick, gained too much weight early on and was miserable and uncomfortable the rest of the time. I also found non-maternity, flowy to be my best options; Anthropologie's bohemian style was great for this. I never had to many friends talk about this, but you're definitely not alone. As happy as I was to be pregnant, I still just felt fat! The only thing I can figure out for next time is attempting to eat just as healthy and stay as active as I would normally, so I feel better the whole time.

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  2. Wow. I am shocked by this posting. You look AMAZING!! Plus, you have fabulous style. Every time you post a photo of yourself I think man I wish my legs were that thin! You are a size 4-6 plus you are tall. (Totally not a stalker, had to look that back up bc I remember that you had posted it in one of your clothing post) You're legs are far from voluptuous. Rock your pregnancy and enjoy every moment of it. Your clothing choices are things that I would wear and I'm not pregnant. :) The Charlotte Observer photo was just not the right top to be sitting down in. Newspapers and magazines always choose the worst photo.

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    1. Thank you for the sweet comments.. it's funny because I WAS a 4-6, and I think that's why pregnancy has been hard for me. Here's a little story to put it in perspective.. I went to Destination Maternity and the woman said "oh, just get your pre-pregnancy size.. they made adjustments for growing bodies so they are a little bigger". So I went and picked up a size 28 jeans.. and couldn't even pull them up past my calves. Then she brought me 29, then 30.. finally I had to ask for a size 31 and that's what I bought. I don't think it's about the size of a woman that makes it hard.. it's the fact that you really have to accept that your old body is no more. I was on the verge of tears in that dressing room during that experience!

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  3. I think this is such a beautiful post. Coaches and physical therapists have repeatedly told me I have 'well-muscled' legs (...... :-/ ) and I can sympathize with when your most-loved body parts change and no longer sort of 'compensate' for your less-loved parts...it's tough! I think it's admirable that you're having an open conversation about it on your blog--it's not whiny or vain, it's honest!

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  4. I so get it. And yes, for me, this meant I had to spend quite a bit on new clothes to feel good. When you already feel blah, at least you can like the way you look in clothes! For the record, I think you look fabulous regardless of how you're feeling about it. The end of pregnancy presents other challenges (for me anyway) as I have outgrown the "non-maternity" clothes I could wear and even some maternity clothes as I have a giant basketball belly. Nothing like your belly hanging out to make you feel good about yourself! People also don't know not to make comments about your belly. Last week a guy at my office decided to "school" me on how horizontal stripes are not good when you have gained weight. Umm...there's a baby in there! I am not getting fat (and yes, it is obvious AND he knows this). He suggested vertical stripes. Right.

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  5. I empathize with you all the way. I'm less than two weeks from my due date (Valentine's Day) and I'm so over being pregnant but it's because of how I look more so than how I feel. I've been lucky to keep the weight gain in check with regular workouts and showing some restraint with the office candy bowl, but it hasn't been easy and it really hasn't been easy to watch my body change. I'm the opposite of you in that I preferred the fitted tops and dresses because I felt like the flowy stuff made me look that much bigger. We all have to find what works for us, right?

    Growing the baby was the easy part though. Raising him? (I'm having a boy, too.) That's going to be the hard part. :)

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  6. You look amazing and your style through your pregnancy is flawless. I know how you feel though when you talk about all the models being size two. I have two sister in laws who are tall and slender and have those modelesk pregnant bodies and mine was less than so. Don't feel bad or even think you are being vain. Totally been there totally had those feelings!

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  7. For the record, I think you look amazing!!! It's hard, particularly if you feel awful and can't do the things you normally do (like exercise or, you know, stay up past 7 p.m.) or eat the way you normally do. I think the key is finding those pieces that do make you feel good about your new body. For me, fitted shirts that accentuated my belly and minimized my chest were the ticket.

    When/if the less-than-kind belly comments come as Tiffany mentioned above, try not to let them upset you. I found that a lot of people just don't know much about pregnancy or are just looking for something to say. This summer, when I was about 6 months pregnant, a guy at the grocery store asked me if I was about to deliver (!!) and I wouldn't say that my belly was particularly big at that point.

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  8. Bryn,

    You look great! I too am pear shaped and am almost 28 weeks pregnant and don't find maternity fashion fun at all. I also have a private pinterest board where I save inspiration outfits and I must tell you that your outfits in this post are far cuter than anything I have come across on Pinterest yet. Thanks for sharing and putting yourself out there. Well Done!

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  9. I don't comment often on blogs but thought I had to tell you I think you look great in all your photos and don't see the "big" legs. Keep rocking all your beautiful outfits!

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  10. First, you look totally amazing. I'm also due in April and it's been so hard to see all of the changes my body is going through. My husband has been totally sweet about it, but of course, there's only so much a man can relate to! I appreciate you doing a post on this because it's something that I'm sure so many people experience, but no one talks about. I love being pregnant and can't wait to meet our little girl, but it doesn't mean that it's still not crazy to see your body like you do! So thanks for putting this out there -- it has definitely made me feel like I'm not alone.

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  11. Oh my goodness! Your post definitely mimics some of the feelings I had during my own pregnancy! I'm really short and petite but with some curves so I totally understand the legs and butt worries! I felt like I spent so much time trying to figure out how to dress cute and show off my bump, without showing off my butt and legs too. It's so tricky. Even 18 months after birth, I'm definitely back in my pre-pregnancy size and clothes but still feel like I don't have that body back and maybe never will! Anyway, I'm not saying that to scare you- just to let you know that it's a common feeling and you're not alone! Hang in there - especially in the last month when nothing seems like it fits any more! (So excited for you- baby boys are the best!)

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  12. You've done a great job of finding outfits that still look like "you" and are really flattering! I'm pear shape, too, so I appreciate the honesty of what it's like to grow a baby with our body type (I'd been searching online, and couldn't find much). Also, that magazine picture is definitely distorted--your chair even looks wider than Matt's.

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  13. Can I give you a high five and hug for this post! Truly amazing & honest - I too suffered from the big leg and thigh pregnancy :( I looked super cute bell & all for the first 6 mos then it was all downhill from there....it can be so depressing seeing the changes in your body - so glad you found good solutions and you do look amazing!! (even if you don't always feel like it :) )

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  14. I rarely comment on blogs, but felt like I wanted to say so many women feel this way about their bodies (pregnant or not), but no one ever talks about it. So thank you for a great post and a great blog! Congratulations on the baby! I am looking forward to the nursery you put together!

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  15. You look great. I am in my 2nd pregnancy and am huge, but was not during my first. So this is new to me, too. Where are the clothes from that you have been having luck with? Any good resources? Just buying flowy things a size up?

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  16. As everyone before me said, you look amazing! I am 15 weeks pregnant and relate to every word you wrote: from the timy pregnant women on Pinterest to the need to wear maternity pants at 12 weeks... Nobody talks about it, so thank you for putting it out there!
    Now I totally love your maternity style and I am dying to know where you got the burgundy tunic. Please, please, please, let me know where I can find it! :)
    Audrey

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  17. I'm at week 12 right now and feeling bad that my pants don't fit. I know it's the pregnancy - but I can't help but feeling like I'm just eating too much (which I might be)!

    Thanks for sharing! You look great!

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  18. The changing body is so hard to accept and I had these exact same feelings when I was pregnant and I'm built just like you- so it was not easy for the skinniest part of my body to get so big! First of all-once the baby is here you won't even care what your body looks and then slowly, everything will start to move back into place. I'm 7 months postpartum and my stomach is flat again and my legs and thighs have gone back to their normal size. I was seriously in size 32 maternity jeans when I was like 15 weeks pregnant and now I'm back in my size 29 regular jeans. It took about 6 months but honestly that is with no exercising and very little dieting-you just have to give it time. Try to enjoy this time being pregnant!

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  19. You look so cute and put together! And I LOVE that green jacket! THank you for sharing your experience. I haven't been pregnant before and can only imagine what you are feeling. And if you only ever hear how amazing the experience is, struggling with your changing body can probably feel very isolating.

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  20. I hope it's not strange, but the part of your post that I zeroed in on was that you had a tough road to pregnancy. I'm in the same place - just scheduled an appointment with a fertility specialist so I'm currently on the road to fertility drugs (although really hoping to veer off that road with a last minute positive test!). I hope that in a few months this post is my reality and I'm at a loss for what to wear. Your clothes choices are adorable and extremely flattering! I would have never guessed that you've been struggling with your wardrobe :-)

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  21. Seriously. You look amazing, but I know the feeling. I am 26 and pregnant with my 3rd baby within 3 years. I gained 90 lbs with my first (then lost it), 60 with my second (lost the weight again), and at 28 weeks pregnant I've gained 40. The baby and my belly are measuring 3 weeks ahead. I feel absolutely huge all over and only want to wear yoga pants. Despite knowing what happens it is difficult to watch your body change so quickly. It is completely worth it but still challenging for one's self-image. I learned a valuable lesson after my first pregnancy… "I am so much more than a number on the scale!" You are sustaining a new growing life and you look amazing.
    PS. I weigh more than my husband too. :/

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  22. What a generous thing you did here sharing all of this with other moms-to-be. I'm sure there are a number of women who needed to hear this right now. You look terrific!

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  23. I would love a post on your favourite maternity items. p.s. you really do look amazing and did an excellent job picking up new clothes to flatter!

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  24. Chiming in to say I love your outfits and appreciate your honesty. I think that particularly with style and interior blogs and all the pretty they show, an honest post like this is especially meaningful. You look beautiful and I think the tip of taking photos of outfits you wear that make you feel good is a smart one--it makes for a nice visual reminder on the days when one feels like there is NOTHING to wear!

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  25. Thanks for sharing, Bryn! I can totally sympathize - 36 weeks pregnant here and I've noticed even my FACE changing (getting wider) over the past couple months. I know all these changes will be worth it when we get to meet our precious little ones, but we're allowed to feel a little nostalgic for our old bodies, too. It's a tough transition!

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  26. I can totally relate to this! I felt the same way through out my pregnancy. I felt like I was "just fat" until my belly really popped. It does get better! My son is 6 weeks old and I've already lost most of the baby weight. It helped me to think that my body needed to gain weight to make a little person. It truly is incredible!

    Love your style and you look amazing!!

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  27. I felt like I could have wrote this same thing! I'm pregnant too right, now and am having the identical issues you are. I'm sick of people saying you don't look different, because 25 lbs later at 7 months, I am different! My legs of course have taken most of the growth (besides my stomach). I just feel like it isn't my body anymore, and I can't wait to get it back! I know that I will have wonderful child soon, but being pregnant isn't ideal! You are not alone. I talk about it openly too and people give me a hard time. It's sad, I really think most people feel like this they just don't say it because "pregnancy is suppose to be beautiful." It will result in something beautiful, but pregnancy isn't beautiful. Keep saying it. Thanks again.

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  28. Thank you for your honesty on this post! I was pretty young when I had my first (i'm 27 with an almost 5 year old) Pre-pregnancy I was pretty skinny and busty and I'm tall. On paper I sounded really good and during the first half of my pregnancy the only thing that really grew was my chest. I felt amazing and thought I was going to be one of those lucky pregnant girls. Then the second half hit and my thighs and butt grew as much as my stomach and my chest suddenly looked like Dolly Parton on steroids with veins that resembled a road map. Like seriously. It was horrifying to see all the changes happening! I had the lady at the maternity store tell me to get the same size jeans and I ended up 4 sizes bigger. I also officially weighed more than my husband. It was the saddest thing to go through and was not joyful like everyone said it would be.But I'm telling you Bryn, when you hold that child, you will forget all of this nonsense. :) I would and will do it all over again in a heartbeat! xo

    Oh and as someone that has been there, belts are miracle slimmers! I wore flowy clothes but then belted them below the chest and you would be surprised how much it slims you in pictures but still leaves the hips and butt hidden ;)

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  29. I am also pear shaped and always felt just BIG when I was pregnant. I actually had a woman comment at work that I looked like I was growing the baby on my backside. Thanks! Be prepared, also... after baby was born, I felt so skinny - until I tried to put on my fat jeans and they were way too small. I did get back to my old clothes, but it did take longer than I expected. But OH so worth it! You look great!

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  30. Bryn - You are so brave to write this post! You are so right, this is a very under-discussed part of pregnancy, and it can be very hard for some women (myself totally included). Especially when you have been working so hard to come to a comfortable place with you body. I am so NOT trying to be a debbie downer here, but I feel like I should warn you that the hardest part (for me at least) comes after the baby is born. I am always so eager to put the sad, small maternity wardrobe behind me, but it just takes a while, and things are not exactly what they used to be, at least for a while. Give yourself some grace - you are growing a HUMAN BEING! It really is amazing what our bodies are capable of!

    And I have to say, your pregnancy wardrobe looks AMAZING! And every time you've posted a pic I always think "gah - she is ALL belly!" We always look so much worse in our own mirrors :) Really though, all of these pieces will be great post-baby too. Feel free to email me if you want to talk. Been there, done this twice now :)

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  31. When you are used to your body one way and it changes quick its going to be hard. I took a different approach to my pregnancy. I flaunted my belly. Since pre pregnancy I wasn't super skinny and wore flowy tops a lot, I took advantage of the fact that I am pregnant and its acceptable to be bigger in the middle and wore form fitting shirts. I also did not purchase one maternity shirt. Everything I bought I can still wear bc it has stretch. But I did love the maternity leggings.

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  32. I think you look chic + fabulous...and I haven't been pregnant but I can only imagine how you feel. And it's so true about when you look good you feel good. I've never really liked my legs either and everyone tells me I'm crazy but I feel the same as you and will probably have the same large butt + legs problems when we get pregnant! haha

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  33. Just wanted to pop in with my two cents. I am 4 months postpartum and was so self conscious through my pregnancy. I would get so many off-color comments about my size and I worried about it a lot. Now that I can look back on photos, my gosh... I think I looked beautiful. I can't believe my body did that, and now I am left with this postpartum MESS! Ha! I know saying "enjoy it" falls on deaf ears, but really... you will cherish pictures of your pregnant body forever. It's amazingly beautiful! Glad you are finding ways to feel better about yourself.

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  34. I felt the same exact way when I was pregnant. I am pear shaped as well and weight went to my thighs, hips, even arms! I loved being pregnant, but I disliked all the changes my body went through and it was a hard time for me seeing all that in short amount of time. What I can tell you is that 40 weeks goes fast even though it seems like forever. Hang in there and just enjoy this time with your husband!

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  35. I'm so glad you shared your true feelings about your body during pregnancy. I have a beautiful little girl and another on the way but I can honestly say I do not enjoy pregnancy the way some people do. I always feel guilty but I also try to be honest with other moms about how I feel in case they have a similar outlook.

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  36. You have done an outstanding job of dressing your baby bump! Definitely one of the most stylish expectant mothers I've ever seen. I'm due in June and would love to know where you got these pieces! Thanks for sharing!

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  37. Though I have never commented, I love your blog and wanted you to know that (1) you look great (as so many others have noticed), and (2) you are definitely not alone in feeling awkward or less-than-thrilled with your pregnant body. I have a larger than average chest, and the ENTIRE time I was pregnant, I looked like Dolly Parton. You are doing a great job finding clothing that makes you feel your best possible self, and reminding yourself what a privilege it is to be pregnant. Even though I didn't usually feel like I looked beautiful when I was pregnant, I loved the experience of carrying my babies. I wish you all the best as you head toward the home stretch.

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  38. I felt the same way throughout pregnancy, I gained 40lbs! I absolutely hated walking by mirrors and towards the end I pretty much recycled the same 4 outfits hoping no one would notice. Believe me, once your little man gets here you're totally going to forget about the scale!!! At least for a few weeks anyway ;-)

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  39. Your legs are not big....you look great!

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  40. Bryn, I just want to chime in and say how great I think you look as well! Love the outfits you chose. I just had my third, and while you might think i've had time to accumulate some nice looking maternity clothing, I'm not sure I ever looked quite as stylish as you did in your cute photos :) Thanks for sharing so honestly too--you have no doubt blessed many mamas with your words!

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  41. Oh girl! BIG HUG! Everyone ahead of me in the comments has covered the bases, I just needed to say you look amazing and your honesty is so touching and authentic. Lots of love from a fellow preggo in Seattle. <3

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  42. I loved being pregnant, but as much as I loved feeling those little kicks and seeing my belly expand, it was crippling at times. I think it's just one of those things that all pregnant women feel at some point, but don't necessarily talk about. I'm sure you've seen the blog post "babies ruin bodies" floating around. It's a particularly beautiful post about appreciating our bodies; even three years after giving birth, it's a great reminder that my body is an amazing thing. http://weseekjoy.blogspot.com/2013/12/babies-ruin-bodies.html

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  43. Your outfits look fantastic and I have to say that you have some amazing legs so I am not sure what you are talking about ;-) However I do understand completely. I hope you really get to enjoy this journey and feel good. Congratulations again and good luck!

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  44. I'm sorry you are not feeling so great about how you look. I felt fantastic during my pregnancy. I was all belly which made me happy because my gut wasn't just a gut it was a BABY!

    And I agree winter is the best time to be big and preggers because you can layer! Your outfits are adorable. And seriously I'll take your thighs any day over mine!

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  45. Ok, First of all - All your outfits and you look GREAT so try not worry. But- I have to comment on that last photograph? A professional took that??!! It's HORRID!! It doesn't even look like you're in the room!! It looks like they photo-shopped you guys in after. And badly!

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  46. Love all your outfits, and you look so cute in them too! Could you source the pieces and boots? Thx!!

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  47. Can you share some of the sources for your outfits? I have been dying to find tunic-y tops/dresses to pair with skinny pants (because that is what looks best on this pregnant lady too) and have had a hard time. But you have NAILED it!

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  48. Thanks for this! Watching you body change is HARD. I'm curvy/a little overweight to begin with, and for me the awkward are you pregnant or just fat stage lasted until 29 or 30 weeks.

    afterwards, I kept telling myself I'd lose weight before my next pregnancy but I haven't. I am exactly the same weight I was before my first, and we're trying again anyway. I've decided I can't let my insecurities change the vision I have for our family or the wishes of my heart.

    But it's hard, imagining it happening all over again.

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  49. This is such a great post and you're really brave for writing it. I don't have kids yet but I suspect that when I'm pregnant I'll blow up like a balloon, Kim Kardashian style, and it terrifies me. You've worked really hard to control your weight (I always loved your food posts!) so it must really stink to feel like you don't have that kind of control over it now. If it helps, you really do look great and your outfits are so well put together. You also have a beautiful smile and always look so fresh--something that pregnancy clearly hasn't changed! Good luck getting through these last few months!

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  50. Brynn being pregnant is hard and your body does change all over not just the belly! just wait til after when you want to lose the weight- aye I am having a hard time getting back to normal. but just know it is all worth it! I love your pregnancy style if I was still pregnant I would be copying all those outfits. I think you look awesome!! xoxo

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  51. bryn, i think i wrote this and you put your name on it! kidding :) everything down to the big thighs/butt down to struggling to get pregnant all rings true to me. part of my issue was, i had an ectopic pregnancy which wasn't discovered to be so until almost 8 weeks. with that being said, i had already gained 5+ lbs. then we tried and had two chemical pregnancies. needless to say, i wasn't working out a ton at this time. i started my current pregnancy (i'm 18 weeks) almost 10 pounds up on the scale. not an easy thing to do. i, too, gained 10+ in the first trimester -- bagels, rice, toast and bread! luckily, the weight gain has tapered in the second trimester but i still feel hugeee. it has helped to buy new clothes, but with my new, larger size i struggle buying online. i have a variety of stores around me, yet i'm still struggling. if i find a shirt i love, i buy two or three. :)

    anyway, i appreciate your honesty. and you are not alone in your feelings. you have made me feel much more "normal" by sharing your feelings. thanks :) xoxoxo

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  52. You look beautiful! I felt the same way when I was pregnant at first. I tend to gain weight in my legs and butt and that was the first place it went when I got pregnant :) Love all your outfits too, so stylish!

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  53. You look beautiful, but I definitely understand the frustration! I'm 19 weeks with our first, and I've always been bottom-heavy, though most of my friends say I don't look pregnant, I certainly feel it. And dressing is really tough! I'd love to know where you got all of the pieces for those outfits - loving all of the flowy tops and I've been on a hunt in stores to find non-maternity flowy tops and dresses!
    xx Lexi, Glitter, Inc.

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THANK YOU for taking the time to share your thoughts. I appreciate each and every comment.